Ambient Crisis

I’m thankful to be employed right now.

Article

No, not the kind you look at porn on? I’m talking Political Correctness.

Remember when Republicans gave Democrats shit about their whiny PC-speak?

Apparently they’re a bunch of whiny bitches too. Sarah Palin doesn’t want people to say “retard”.

Retard, retard, retard, retard!!!

Is she offended because her kid is retarded or because she’s retarded?

Someone should ask her if she even knows what it means.

How about I say “fucktard” instead? There, we compromised.

Stupid retards, isn’t there real news for people to talk about?

So like the rest of the country, Oregon is in a recession or climbing out of one or whatever it is an economist might call our doomed condition… in any case, this means that local government is hurting for cash.

Enter the annoying Canadians and their dog. Back during the holidays, the neighbors with the barking dogs finally got the message… amazing what a couple of fines will do. Well, they sort of got the message. After they got hit with the fines, there were a few more barking episodes. I warned them there would be more petitions heading their way. Their response was to leave us a Christmas card with an apology about the dogs and a note saying that they’d be getting rid of one dog and keeping the other in the house. By New Years, the problem was resolved and there was peace in the valley.

Then comes yesterday. I look out my front window and their dopey dog is wandering around loose in the neighborhood. I was going to go out and take it to animal control, but my wife decided to just put back in their yard. Big mistake. The dog proceeded to spend the rest of the day barking. 5 hours of almost non-stop barking until the douches finally got home.

Fuck that noise. They built up so much ill will during the Fall with all the barking that I didn’t cut them a break. I made a recording of the barking and sent it off the animal control. Their response was immediate. I got an email back saying that new fines would be issued, double the amount of the first fines. This is where the synergy comes in. In the past, getting animal control to do anything about annoying dogs was like pulling teeth. But now, with the county hurting for cash, they jump at any opportunity to bring in a little revenue. Which means that as long as those Canadian fucks want to let their dog annoy us, I’ll be able to go to the county which is more than happy to levy fines against bag dog owners.

It’s nice when self-interest and the government’s need for cash come together.

Couldn’t believe my eyes this morning. The Canadians put a Christmas card in our mailbox and it was a note of apology for the barking dogs. My wife saw the teenage daughter drop off cards at all the houses on the streets. Amazing!

The note apologized for the barking and stated that they are getting rid of the noisiest of the two dogs on Tuesday and that the remaining dog will always be kept inside when nobody is home.

Sure, I’m an asshole, but I got results. This is the way of our world, sadly.

Those are for the little guys!

This sums up why I’ve always said that ethics and morals are for schmucks. These are not intrinsic human things. Our ancestors didn’t trouble themselves with the ethics of hunting dumber, weaker animals, or raiding other villages and pillaging. Morals and ethics are things constructed thousands of years ago by the powerful to control the weak.

If you don’t want to read the whole article, let me sum it up with a quote from one of the folks interviewed:

White adds that walking away is nothing more than an “efficient breach” — a legal theory that calls for parties to sunder a contract if the cost of breaking the deal is less than the cost of maintaining it.

This is the kind of cost-benefit analysis that corporations do all of the time. They make lots of money. They are not constrained by feelings of guilt or morality. Lesson? If you want to get ahead, don’t be constrained by feelings of guilt or morality.

Got an email from animal control yesterday. They’re issuing citations and fines for the neighbor’s barking dogs… which I believe is a $100 fine per dog. Plus, the noisy dopes never got the dogs licensed when they moved here from East Chuckafuck, Canada, so that’s another citation and fine for that, also one for each dog.

They should be getting the citations in the mail today. I wish I could be a fly on the wall when they get them. Merry Christmas, assholes!!! I dare them to come over here and give me shit about it. We asked nicely for them to take care of that shit and they blew it off. Should have taken me seriously.

And even better, if they don’t comply by 12/18, we (my neighbor’s and I) can file another petition and the fines double.

Go ahead, assholes, let those fucking dogs bark now. I dare you.

If I understand the reasoning behind “Intelligent Design” correctly, the argument is that the universe is so complex that there is no way it could have come about randomly or by accident. There must have been a “designer” who brought it all together. But wouldn’t the “designer” have to be a fairly sophisticated and complex being in order to have the intelligence and power to build the universe? After all, the designer couldn’t have come about by accident either, could he/she?

If the theory goes that complex things cannot come about without designers, then who designed the designer? And who designed the designer’s designer. Ad infinitum…

I guess it’s not all bad…

Yet another reason to never be loyal to an employer.

Don’t hesitate to screw your boss over, because they won’t hesitate to do it to you.

So those fucking Canadians across the street are just leaving their dogs out all day. Yesterday it was one long bark fest. Every morning, one wonders at what ungodly hour they’ll start barking again. 6am? 5am? Let’s go for 3am and really fuck with people!

But we’ll have the last laugh. In the past week I’ve filed 3 nuisance complaints with county animal control. I got my neighbors to sign two of them, and for the third, I used the ever-versatile iPhone to take an audio recording of the dog barking continuously for over 10 minutes… a no-no according to the ordinances.

I think those assholes are under the impression that we’re the only family annoyed by the dogs. They’ll be surprised when they see the names of the 4 other families on there. One of the neighbors, a guy with a 3-year old son, is just as fired up as me to deal with these fuckers. We’re both in agreement that we’ll just pile nuisance complaints on them until the dogs get taken away. Each NOI (Notice of Infraction) generated by a nuisance complaint comes with a $100 fine. Three strikes and they get an order of abatement… basically giving them 6 days to shut the fucking dogs up or animal control takes the dogs away.

The law, which they flout, protects them from my retaliation. But it also provides me a mechanism with which to pummel them with fines and such, so I guess the law isn’t all bad.